Rusty Benson
AFA Journal associate editor
January 2002 – In the fall of 1962, even an 11-year-old in a small town in Mississippi understood that the threat of nuclear war with the Soviet Union was real.
Newspapers and magazines carried spy photos of ships hauling nuclear missiles to Cuba. We heard about places called Los Alamos and Bay of Pigs, and saw on television an angry Russian premier screaming, “We will bury you!”
Some families built backyard bomb shelters. Civil defense films advised that in case of a nuclear attack, students should take shelter under their school desks.
On one fearful Sunday in October, record numbers attended church services. It was the only time I can remember the pews full and overflowing into the aisles in our little Methodist church. I worried if my family would be able to find a fallout shelter when the poisonous nuclear cloud blew over our town. More importantly, would there be room for my dog, Rocket?
For a time, fear was a constant undertow. I wondered if the high school basketball team could make the state finals before World War III began.
My young fears from the Cold War era were a mix of reality, misunderstanding and a child’s imagination run wild – probably not unlike the emotions of children living under the threat of terrorism in 2001.
Keeping perspective
“It’s important that adults put the situation into perspective for children,” says David Foster, clinical director of Warren/Yazoo (Mississippi) Mental Health. With training in psychology and a seminary degree, Foster’s specialty is crisis intervention. In recent weeks Youth for Christ teams trained by Foster have traveled to Manhattan to minister to firefighters and emergency personnel at “Ground Zero.” “The reality is that relatively very few people have been directly affected by the September 11 attacks, so the likelihood of any one child being directly hurt by terrorism is very small,” says Foster.
However, that doesn’t keep some kids who have watched images of planes crashing into buildings from fretting that the same might happen to their home or school, warns Michael Malone, Dean of Students at Palmer Home for Children in Columbus, Mississippi. Malone says when children worry obsessively over tragic events it may indicate the presence of fears below the surface, possibly from some earlier loss or trauma.
Non-verbal tip-offs that a child has anxieties linked to the terrorists’ attacks include a tendency to grasp at any control they have in their lives, anger and an increased need for reassurance, according to the National Association of School Psychologists.
However, for teens and young adults, fear may be manifest in other ways. “Teens have the ability to think abstractly,” says Dennis Rainey, host of Family Life Today, a nationally-syndicated Christian radio program aimed at strengthening families. He says teens may worry about the future. For example, they may fear a global nuclear war, an economic depression or being drafted. “Wise parents will use these fears to challenge teens and young adults to think biblically,” he says.
Fear to faith
“Any time pain enters a life, it brings opportunity for ministry,” Foster says. “So parents must focus more on what is happening inside their children than what may be going on in the world.”
Traumatic events can break through a child’s normal emotional defenses and reveal his deepest thoughts and feelings, Malone explains. At that point parents have a great opportunity to minister God’s Word in their children’s lives. “This is when God can truly turn the evil that happens into good.”
Christian experts suggest two principles to guide parents’ response: 1) Be proactive in addressing fear issues with your child, but remember to use age-appropriate language and offer only as much information as necessary to satisfy the child; 2) Model a calm trust in God’s sovereignty and protection.
Helping children understand recent tragic events from a spiritual perspective, according to Rainey, begins when parents seek to interpret the events of the day in light of the Scripture and God’s unchangeable attributes, particularly His sovereignty. “Just as gravity pulls us to the earth, so fear, pain, and suffering can press us against the Savior. Many view fear and pain as enemies, but actually they are both friends. They remind us we are not in control, but that there is One who is in control,” Rainey teaches.
Responding with expressions of thankfulness to God is also appropriate, Rainey says. “When we thank God for his protection of America, we demonstrate faith in the character of God.”
Another of God’s attributes that should be stressed during tragedy is His goodness, particularly how He often uses evil for our good and His glory. “I must have told the story of Joseph a hundred times in recent weeks,” Malone said, referring to the Bible account that climaxes in Genesis 50:20 when Joseph tells his brothers: “What you meant for evil, God meant for good.”
Foster says children need to know that they can expect difficulty in this world. However, parents must remind themselves and their children that God uses trials to fulfill His purpose of refining our faith and deepening our walk with Him. “None of this is by accident,” Foster affirms. 
PRACTICAL ADVICE FOR PARENTS
1. Protect children from overdosing on media reports. Sometimes, just turn off the TV. Also limit exposure to other forms of violence, such as video games. This helps make the real human cost of the tragedies more understandable.
2. Deal honestly with children. False assurance that difficulties will never come to their lives does not help. Let your children know that although adults are working to keep them safe and secure, ultimately God is their refuge.
3. Protect your children from your own fears. Address their fears without creating new ones.
4. Encourage children to honestly express their fears, then use them as an opportunity to minister God’s Word.
5. Use the emotional openness that tragedy brings to: a) Formally teach from Scripture about God’s sovereignty and goodness; b) Pray together as a family about issues raised by the terrorist attacks.
6. Write letters of thanks to armed forces personnel, firemen, police officers, etc.
7. Spend extra time reading, talking and playing with your children.
